proteinMonster()

to a lot of people, "salesforce integration" sounds like a bunch of made-up gobbldeygook. to me? it's a way of life

proteinMonster(value)

value

to me, it was simple. databases and web services were like your friends and family. and marketing automation and financials was like when they spend too much money. e-commerce billing? that was like when they asked you for money so they could pay the electric bills after they threw away all their money at the racetracks.

i was the best in the biz at salesforce integration. i made millions of dollars a year integrated batches with real-time mashups. migration and broadcast patterns were like a sixth sense to me, and system authentication just came second nature. but there was a big problem: my client had started a project with no clear scope, propogated bad data, and had failed to document systems of record. couple that with bad coding patterns and exceeding API limits? yeah, we had a problem

this guy-- his name was jimmy no socks-- he ignored data rate limits like it was his job. he misinterpreted real-time integration and implemented improper system architecture. and i had had enough. and so had my bosses.

proteinMonster({})                // 'protein monster'
proteinMonster([])                // 'protein monster'
proteinMonster(import code)       // 'protein monster'
proteinMonster(while { i++ })     // 'protein monster'
proteinMonster(3.5)               // 'protein monster' (value will be converted to integer)
proteinMonster('protein monster') // RangeError