The first thing you should know about me is that I love my husband and would do anything for him. He is a loving, gentle, sweet soul. I wake up one morning to see him handsomely putting on his shirt over his freshly-shaven face. "Good morning." he says sweetly but boldy. His mouth has perfect teeth and a great smile, his abs and pecs are like rocks. "I'm off to Mars again." Oh--and did I mention he's an astronaut? "Have a safe trip. I LOVE you," I say sweetly to him as I kiss him all over his body. I can't wait until your back so we can make love. "I'll only be thinking of you up there. This is a tough mission and I don't know if I'll come back alive." But I have more faith in my husband than anyone in the world- I know he'll make it. He came back the next morning and, oh, another thing I forgot to mention is that we can travel to Mars in a day. The year is 2006, I forgot because of the time machine that most of you are reading from the past, and with technology we can travel to Mars in a day. Then I notice something, lipstick, on his spacesuit--and it's not mine. And I look it up, and it turns out we can't travel to Mars in a day, he's been lying about being an astronaut this whole time, and pretending to go on missions to cheat on me. Well, I pretend like I don't know the truth, and tell him to come to the bathroom, where I'm waiting for him...