I get to work and the phone is already ringing off the hook. Brad Pitt on line 1. Marlon Brando on line 2. Steven Spielberg on line 3. Just another day as the most powerful man in Hollywood.
I am the most important producer in Hollywood -- nothing gets made unless it gets the green light from me. They called me the
stop sign -- because I was always stopping movies from getting made if i didn't like them. I've won 30 Oscars, but they don't mean anything to me. I just love the power.
Oh, and did I mention the
women?
I get to the office and snort some cocaine -- yeah, that's right. Cocaine. What, you've never heard of Hollywood before?
Everybody's always pitching me stories. Yeah, well, most of them are throwing balls. Until i hear the greatest pitch of all time: a story, about a girl who grows up to become a powerful business woman. Eventually, she becomes the
president of the United States. But here's the catch: she's secretly a bank robber, and the presidency was just a ruse so she can rob the White House. The only problem? The love of her life is a secret service agent and detective, who has to stop her before she can pull of the heist.
That night I get home and my super model wife is lying there with her big beautiful tits but I don't give a shit at all. suddenly I get a phone call, it's the academy. I've won another Oscar. I hang up without saying anything and make myself a drink. I can't wait to get drunk