it’s just another day as a coder when i get a pull request. the request? a megavirus was found in the domain controller. it is like no virus ever seen before, and there seems to be no beating it.

\begin{figure} \epsfverbosetrue \centerline {\psfig{figure=diffusion.ps,height=7in}}\end{figure}

that’s why they called me in.

\begin{displaymath} y^{(k+1)}=y^{(k)}-L y^{(k)}=(1-L)\ y^{(k)}, \end{displaymath} (1)

i got to work. i started in C++ right away—no need to bother with javascript for something this sophisticated. i create a new function and build in a for loop filled with ifelse statements. i’m checking all sorts of routers and backends. finally, i catch an idea: create an even worse virus to kill the megavirus. i download all the spyware in the world and combine it using the concatenate function in C++. i sick it on the megavirus, and it destroys every piece of the virus. the only problem? now the domain controller has an even worse virus, and the problem is even worse. anyway, i spend all night working on it and eventually come up with an even better, more genius solution that the first one.

\begin{displaymath} y^{(k+1)}=p_k(L)y^{(1)},\quad k=1,2,\ldots \end{displaymath} (2)

the day is over—well, actually, the day is just beginning, because i pulled an all-nighter, with the help of an energy drink or two. but we hackers don’t follow regular people’s sleep schedules. i get back to my apartment, which is disgusting and filled with every type of illegal pornography that exists, and go to bed on a bare mattress covered in mold even though i’m a bitcoin trillionaire. for this was simply a day in the life, of a coder.

\begin{displaymath} \begin{array}{ll} & {\rm Minimise\ \ }{1\over 2} x^TW^{-1}x,\\ &{\rm subject\ to\ }\quad Ax=b.\\ \end{array}\end{displaymath} (3)